Do we have to have all the answers? How could we? We are just human. We become experts where we can; whether that is dealing with selling cars, manufacturing a UTV or teaching a student, but still we will come to many times where we will not have an answer to the question that life has brought us. Questions like “Do I need to find a new job because I don’t feel like I can do the job better than someone else?”, “What major should my son or daughter move towards?”, “How do I handle this employee that contributes, but is causing tension for the team?” or “How do I handle this family dilemma that is tearing the family apart?”.
These are just a few of a plethora of questions that we won’t have answers to and will need help to overcome them. To be honest, I know some of us have so much pride that even though we don’t have clue how to handle a situation, will still determine what to do on our own. Some of the time the outcome will be ok, but my experience tells me that most of the time the results will not come out well. We can do better than this if we would just become humble. Rick Warren stated it this way; “Humility isn’t denying your strengths, it’s being honest about your weaknesses.”
So we have to identify that we are weak in an area or not knowledgable, but then what? How do we become knowledgable or wise? The Bible states in Proverbs 19:20 to “Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.” I believe that this is some amazing knowledge that we should follow. It means that we should first listen to God, but second we should build our counsel to gain wisdom.
For me it’s taken 48 years, but I feel like I have a group of men around me that I can seek counsel from often. They are men that I respect and they believe in what I believe in. They are all men that are in my stage of life or beyond. I have lived life together with them by spending time with them and not being afraid to share my innermost feelings and beliefs. I have literally cried with them…laughed with them…prayed with and for them…and, most importantly, I have truly listened to them. I am truly blessed to have them.
Do you have a counsel like this? If not, I would challenge you to begin building it, but how do you do it?
Start by asking God to direct people in your life or opening your eyes to those who you already know that could become a counselor for you. I guarantee that He will direct people into your life.
Start seeking them out. Take time to reflect. Look around you and identify those people that you respect and begin building your counsel. Look for people of the same gender that are at your stage in life or beyond; like in 10 year increments ahead of you.
Once you have identified them, be intentional about spending time with them. Let them know that you appreciate them, that you respect them and that you want their advice.
I know that if you truly believe that you don’t have all the answers and that you need counsel, or will need it, then you will slowly begin to build a group of people around you that will help you grow and succeed in life. You have to start somewhere and sometime. Why not start NOW! Dare to become humble and find wisdom in counsel.
[I want to take this minute to just thank those men in my life that are my guides, my encouragers, my inspirations, my examples, my advisors and my most respected friends (Rick Thompson, Jon Burkeen, Nathan Napier, Dave Perrin (Brother), Frank Perrin (Dad), Kevin Duval , Chris Ihrig, and Pat Morello). Some have been in my life the whole time, some for 15 years and some for less. Outside of my belief in God and listening to Him; I know that He put you all in my life to help me through it and I am so blessed because of it.]
[I have to say that my wife, Nicki, of 25 years of marriage is also one of my main sources for counsel and I am so thankful for her, but I believe we also need counsel outside of our marriage as well.]